Last blog for some time; no more holidays booked and passport is about to die.
Had a massive 4 course breakfast, to last til we got home. We walked up into the central square and were there when the hour struck.  Every single hour on the hour a guy walks up hundreds of steps to the top of a tower and plays a tune on his bugle and then stops in the middle as though he's been shot in the throat with an arrow. But he's not really dead, he waves at everybody before he comes down again. There is a vacancy if you fancy a fairly cushy job, although you may need some quick bugle lessons. But still, there's only one tune to learn and even that one you don't need to know all the way through as you never finish it!
We went in a cafe that is famous for the most incredible hot chocolate but of course nobody wants it in a heat wave! So beer and latte it was, with cake (you've seen the photo). Did a bit of shopping then went back to the hotel for a last beer. I'm sure there was a tear in the barman's eye when I told him we were leaving.
There followed the usual hours of queueing and waiting but the worst was when we got back to the car! Having paid £39 to park the car, we couldn't get out of the car park as the barrier was stuck! The queue was growing and tempers were rising until, after 13 minutes a guy in a yellow jacket came and put the barrier up to let us all out. So we drove home in an amazing electrical storm. Welcome back!!

First of all, something I forgot yesterday. I always like my peach flavoured ice tea when on holiday and I found some ice tea in the local shop. Unlike most languages you can't really decipher Polish, but it had a picture of a peach on the label so I should have been OK with that. No, maybe the green lid was a clue but it was actually mint peach flavour and it tasted as bad as it sounds. When I get home I will not be rushing to the Polski Sklep shop for any of that!
So, to today, the good news was it wasn't as hot as yesterday but the bad news is it was even hotter! 34 today. Now I'm in a rhythm of having a 3 course breakfast to last all day.  We had a walking tour of what became the Jewish ghetto in the Second World War. We saw the house where Helena Rubinstein was born (she made perfume and cosmetics apparently) and we went in a synagogue. I had to wear one of those funny little skull cap things, in a nice Man City blue. We saw lots of places which feature in the film, Schindler's List; we'll have to watch it again soon.
We only had an hour to spare at the hotel before the afternoon trip so we went straight in the bar. Mum reverted to Latte today but I had 2 beers; nothing to eat as still full of breakfast👍
So, the afternoon trip was to the concentration camps at Auswich and Birkenau. Weirdly it wasn't upsetting which I'd expected it to be. I think it's because there are no people there. We saw the dreaded sign over the entrance, the railway line and buildings we've seen many times over the years. We walked up the road to the gas chambers which was a one way trip for all those poor people, we went inside the gas chamber where they died, but somehow it didn't seem real, it was just another place full of tourists. But when I watch the black and white film made by the liberation troops it brings tears to my eyes; the sheer fact and scale of these atrocities that were happening just 6 years before I was born, just blows me away.
Anyway we didn't get back to the hotel till after 8 so went straight in the restaurant for more beer and food. I'd enjoyed the steak so much the first night I had another one and it was just as good. Mum had a burger and chips; bill for 2 meals and drinks, £23!  I could live here!

Good grief it's hot here in the Middle East, of Poland! Very fortunately the room has air conditioning and we have 2 king size beds so had one each and spread out, so managed to sleep ok. Breakfast is buffet style; the dining room was very busy but mum managed to get egg, sausage and beans, and a banana. I had a bowl of 4 different cereal/muesli/dried fruit/some kind of good for you seeds! Then a croissant, a pain au raisin and a piece of cake! They're probably good for you too, right?
We went by coach to the far side of the city centre so we could have a walking tour back. To sum up our guide's talk, everything in Kraków is either the biggest or oldest (and usually both) in
Poland. We finished at the castle and we were so hot we BOTH had a beer!

Photo taken by the King of selfies (no stick was used in this production)

After our liquid lunch we went to the salt mines (personally I think that was too harsh a punishment but hey ho). This mine operated for hundreds of years. It has 9 levels; we descended, via 3 million and 4 steps as far as the third level down.  Way down there is a full size cathedral literally cut out of the rocksalt and the gift shop is way down there too. You can buy all sorts of gifts, as long as they're made of rocksalt. I didn't see the point in buying some expensive souvenir given that the first time there's a bad frost it will end up on the front steps.

But the chamber, 400 feet below the ground is apparently in the Guinness book of records because the first "indoor" bungee jump and the first ever indoor balloon flight took place in it!

Here's another picture of me with beer. I'm getting so good at selfies I could probably have taken this one myself too, but on this occasion I got my lovely assistant to assist!   

The alarm went at 4 o'clock to signal an early start! We drove to Yeadon and arrived at the airport in the dark, to be met by the busiest I have ever seen Leeds/Bradford. I've often noticed when walking the dog before 7am that there is a constant stream of aircraft taking off and today proved that most flights from there, it seems set off early morning. The queue for security went right round the departure lounge and past the entrance door.  It confused people and many joined this queue still with their luggage as they couldn't see how to get to check in!
Just for a change mum sailed through the scanner, so who got stopped for setting it off instead? Then subjected to the new full body scanner! Needless to say I passed easily; I can only conclude that the guy was overwhelmed by my impressive physique and wanted a peek at my magnificent torso unfettered by clothes!
The flight was ok but we were shocked when we got off the plane in Kraków, it was just like when we went to Spain; the heat hit you! It's hot here; who knew Poland was hot? Not me, I didn't bother packing any shorts. The forecast expects it to be hot throughout our stay so I look like being over dressed!
Hotel is very nice, they gave each of us a drink of fruit juice on arrival and a voucher for a free drink in the restaurant or bar if we ate there. Had a very warm walk round the centre of the city then had tea in the hotel restaurant where I had possibly the nicest steak I've ever eaten! With the free drink and 15% discount for out tour company the total bill was about £18!
The heat and the extremely early start then caught up with us and we dozed all evening!
The thing that is puzzling me so far is that Poland seems a really nice place and has everything you'd want plus fabulous weather. So why are so many of them living in the most seedy parts of the U.K.?

Do you remember years ago we used to joke about the holiday jet? Wherever we went in the caravan, at some point a jet fighter would come screaming over at very low level.  Well time has moved on and the pilot has had to retire from flying. But we've discovered that he's got a new job on the ground.  His task is to come round roundabouts just as we are about to enter them! We must have gone round over a hundred roundabouts this last 3 days in France. We can be in a line of 6 or more vehicles and all those in front get straight onto the roundabout because all the cars already on it turn down the road we are on, but as soon as we get to the front the next car comes round so we have to wait. I blame Brexit; the French are getting their own back by deliberately thwarting the progress of British cars. When they see one coming this guy jumps in the nearest car and drives round to stop us. He's got us over 40 times now.  But today I discovered his weakness; as is the custom he has a 2 to 3 hour lunch break, so I now go across all roundabouts while he's having his lunch. It's working well so far.
Today we were going to visit Royan but decided it was too far away. So we went to La Rochelle but so did everyone else in France so we just went round a hypermarche, got some petrol and kept going. We went to La Tranche sur Mer where we once had a nice holiday in the caravan. It was where the site owner was cantankerous and pretended he didn't speak English to any lazy Brits who just assumed he did. But when I spoke French but eventually got tongue tied it turned out he spoke very good English! I've told you the tale! Anyway what I forgot is that there's nowhere to park in the place as it's so popular so we didn't stay!
This evening we had a wander round the site where we are staying. All the people in caravans at the moment are British (and mainly northerners at that!) but we are the only ones in the B&B; all our fellow guests are French.

This is the old barn we sleep in. Today we had a nostalgia trip. We visited places we went to in the old days either with all the children or most of them. Started off with a trip round a LeClerq hypermarche and of course I got some peach tea, carambars and.....

Flan!😀

We then drove to La Roche sure Yon. There's a central square with animated sculptures in water that you walk through, although I don't remember those being there when we originally visited, or we'd still have been waiting for Tom to tire of playing with them! I do remember Faye being desperate for the toilet and the only one was this self contained super toilet on a street corner that you put some money in and the door slid open to let you in. It was like something out of Doctor Who and we pretended to be time travellers when we stepped back out. Does that ring a bell with anyone?

 We had lunch while there and went in a really nice confectioners type shop. We eventually had a sandwich, cake and drink "meal deal" and a latte to finish with, after having bother with our mangled French.  But thanks to one of the assistants who spoke some English we both had what we thought we'd ordered!

Mum then took several photographs using her new technical knowledge gained on her course last Sunday; you will no doubt be seeing the results in due course!

Went to Les Sables d'Olonne next; it's a lovely seaside town but the strange part is that all the streets leading to the beach are uphill. How can the town be lower than the beach? They are in big trouble if there's a high tide!

We then went to Saint Jean de Monts, another town inland with a large central square which acts as a car park with shops all round it.

The value of French car parks is that we parked, centrally in all 3 towns in very nice, clean car parks. Total cost 2 euros, ie less than £2. If only good old brexit Britain gave such good value, all your lives could have been so different! Instead of having driven through so many interesting towns and places, you would have actually stopped and seen them! Also you wouldn't all walk so fast (the Lancaster walk) as you would never have had to quickly walk the 2 miles, look round and walk the 2 miles back  to avoid the wardens catching us in the 20 minute free parking spaces😉

Hello, we're back by popular demand (well, George missed us!); another week, another country!
Our mission this week was to explore the possibility of siting the caravan in the vendee area and assess the possibility of all the family using it for holidays.  And I still maintain the idea was a good one! But the practicality is that by the time you've driven down here you've almost lost the will to live (you certainly will have if you're travelled with children!
Left home at lunchtime on Monday to drive to Folkestone; that in itself was nearly 240 miles and took four and a half hours when the traffic was reasonable with no standing traffic queues.  That alone is not a pleasant prospect with children asking if we're nearly there yet before we reach the M62!
Stayed at a Premier Inn which was fine and did full breakfasts but we had no time for it as we rose at 6-15 in order to arrive at the Eurotunnel check in by 7-15; check in itself was easy as it's done electronically at a booth at the entrance; it recognises your car registration from the booking and you only need to confirm details. There is some ferry-type queuing in lanes but you are soon on the train. It's a bit weird driving onto a train and then driving through the carriages but much quicker and more civilised than ferries. The weather in the south of England and northern France was atrocious; full on dark sky and torrential rain.  Overtaking big trucks at 80 was literally driving blind because the spray was like a wall of water; not nice!
The journey from Calais was 410 miles and took 7 hours.  The traffic is much lighter than England but that length of time driving isn't fun! We took full use of modern technology so you just drive over the bridge at the Dartford crossing and it clocks your registration number and bills your bank account so long as you registered beforehand like I did.  Then I have a computer chip stuck inside the car windscreen for the Peage so you can drive up to the barrier; it recognises your chip and beeps and the barrier opens. And, again it automatically bills your bank account.
So we arrived at La Baudonniere, which is a beautiful old chateau in the countryside. The place is gorgeous, the Irish owners are typical, friendly and can talk all day, and very accommodating but the sheer length of time it takes to get here seems pretty much to rule it out for frequent visits.
Breakfast is all about brioche and croissants as you'd expect; it's lovely but doesn't fill you up for the day like a full Scottish, I think it's the lack of haggis; wonder if there's a marketing opportunity here for croissants stuffed with haggis?

Time Team special - some guy called Hadrian built this wall.

Today started in the Scottish country mansion, early! The owner sleeps in the turret and rises at 5-30. He runs the place virtually single handed and you can hear him thundering about on the old creepy floorboards! Breakfast was quite something; he asked us last night if we'd like a nice plate of fruit as a starter and it turns out he prides himself on surprising foreign visitors with a plate of fruit like they've never seen before. The portions are enormous and would easily suffice as a full breakfast. But then he brings what he calls a full Scottish breakfast and, boy it contained most of Scotland! As well as the expected egg, sausage and bacon (lots) there is the flat Scottish sausage, a mountain of mushrooms, tomato and beans. I told him I didn't want black pudding but didn't notice (or it didn't say) there was a huge amount of haggis too! So, yes I've now eaten haggis (if you live there you must have to get used to it as they seem to include a dollop of haggis in all sorts of dishes!)
I was determined to clear my plate to uphold English honour but he was a bit disappointed; his mission is to outface people so he prefers it if you can't eat it all.
So, we wandered down from Edinburgh to Carlisle, down the A7 which is a fabulous old fashioned driving road with light traffic; I didn't think we still had such roads and that it was necessary to go to France to find them. The Insignia hire car is the Sri version and it came alive on those roads.
We stopped in several border towns and had a walk round but no coffee and cake today; too full of breakfast. Two places had M& Co but mum only went in one and didn't buy anything; think she's getting bored with it.
I'd heard that a visit to Carlisle was worth it; it's not, it's downmarket and has nothing of note to look at. Thankfully tonight's b&b is in the country a few miles out of Carlisle. We were still too full of breakfast so had a mars bar for tea (well I had a cheese sandwich as well) but then we discovered Hadrian's Wall. It turns out it's not just a propaganda tale put out by some bloke called Adrian who thinks it sounds posh to pronounce his name with an H; there really is a wall. I'd never seen it before. Not to be too critical though, but it could do with some maintenance. It's falling down in places.

I had technical issues with photo updates which hopefully I've overcome.

B and B from yesterday (Pitlochry)

View from yesterday's B and B.

Two Kelpies

Your usual bloggerist has been incapacitated lately but is now able to resume full holiday correspondent status.  There have been incidents on the first two days that may not have been fully reported but I will not disclose further details at this juncture; instead I start on day 3.
Woke up in Pitlochry and went to bed in Dalkeith near Edinburgh. There, that was an exciting day wasn't it?  Ok then, a little more detail.  Woke up at 7-46, got out of bed and went in the bathroom. Too much detail? Ok, I'll try to pitch this somewhere in the middle.
Road trip took us to Blairgowrie where mother went in her second M&co shop in 2 days and disappeared for a large part of the day, so I looked in shop windows which included a butchers ( did you know they eat macaroni pies in Scotland?) and a kilt hire shop, but to be honest I think they should wear them lower, thus sparing us the sight of knobbly, hairy knees.
We had coffee and cake in a cafe (as long as that happens once a day, mum enjoys the holiday) and we paid by card in order to avoid paying cash and then having to withdraw some of that funny money they seem to like round here, from a cash machine.
Nearly went to Scone Palace but it looked like there may be an entrance fee and, besides who's to stay they'd finished baking it yet? So we drove round the outside of the estate walls instead. We did go see the Kelpies though.  That's the big silver horses which you should by now have seen photos of me feeding.  They were very impressive as was the free entry (£2 parking fee but cheap at the price when mum pays).  Flushed with this success we also found and saw the Falkirk Wheel which is a massive machine that lifts canal boats up in the air rather than use 5 locks like Bingley.  There was an entry fee but it's so big you can see it working easily enough, through the fence, so that was good.
Tonight's b&b is quite something; it's a big old country house standing in its own large estate in the countryside. Great big, wide doors, low ceilings, massive staircase, you know the sort of thing.  But unlike the usual en-suite facilities we have our own private bathroom.  The one drawback being that it's on the ground floor opposite the entrance, about a quarter of a mile walk, and down the main staircase, past the dining room from our first floor bedroom. I think I may have to keep my shreddies on until I get in the bathroom (rather than discard them in the bedroom like normal) when I go for my shower in the morning so as not to overly startle the dining room staff/other guests.
Went to a nice restaurant nearby tonight but mum was thwarted in her quest for chicken for, as seems to be the norm up here, chicken comes stuffed with haggis! I hope they do it after death or the RSPCA may have something to say about cruelty. So she had macaroni, but not in a pie. I fancied fish but eschewed fish and chips as I'm on holiday so had sea bass and very nice it was.
Next instalment tomorrow as long as this place isn't haunted!

Arrived this morning in Scotland having swayed and slept most of the night. Lack of proper en-suite facilities required a little creativity on the part of one of us who usually makes regular visits to the loo. We managed to wile away some of the 3hour plus wait we had before we could collect the hire car, at Costa with one cuppa each, taking ages to drink it. After several circuits of Inverness, we picked up the hire car. My guess would be that at some point a picture will appear on this blog. No handbrake on the car which was a little tricky to begin with. We stopped off en route to Pitlochry so we didn't arrive too early at B and B.  Long day. Both tired so super sub has completed  today's blog contribution. Normal service should be resumed tomorrow.

Hoots man we're on the Caledonia sleeper. It's a bit like being in a shoe box. I can touch all four walls from my bunk. They provide an eye mask and earplugs so what sort of night are we going to have?

A climber called Mallory disappeared on Mount Everest in 1922 and his frozen body was only found about 10 years ago. The question was, did he reach the top and die on the way down or did he never get to the summit? Well, for the avoidance of doubt we never made it to the top of Vesuvius, the still active volcano. We got to the car park at the last and highest base camp, about a million feet above Naples, but it was in the clouds and they were turning dark and nasty and thunder was rumbling. So the park rangers advised us not to set off to climb to the top as we could get caught in a violent storm. Our tour guide had a difficult decision to make and opted for safety first. I was very disappointed as I wanted to go to the very top, but fair play to her (lol G!!) she would have been blamed if anything had happened to anyone.

So we came all the way back again, but they did stop the coach 3 times to let us get out and admire the views.
Back at sea level it was a nice day so we strolled round Sorrento, had lunch in a garden type restaurant and finally had an ice cream from the highly recommended shop. Wary of what happened to Isaac recently we opted for a carton and spoon rather than a cornet. I had scoops of almond and salted caramel flavours and mum had banana.  So, our final dinner and mum's penultimate encounter with the waiter who flirts with all the ladies. Macaroni bolognese to start and roast beef, roast potatoes and carrots.  Very Italian.  They did call it English style beef to be fair.
This evening we had an excursion to buy some limoncello to take home.  All the gift shops sell it but
our guide had said the best is made by Villa Massa; we eventually tracked some down in a specialist
wine shop. No wine or limoncello consumed today, just 2 beers in order to start the drying out process for when I'm back home.

Robert DeNiro enjoying pepperoni pizza.

Today we drove along Amalfi Drive as it's known. What it actually is, is a magical tour over mountainous and very narrow roads around cliff edges. The height it climbs to is amazing and the views are totally spectacular. The route though is so challenging that only a specialist driver can take a full size 60 seater coach up there so we didn't have our normal driver. God knows what car drivers coming the other way must think when they are approaching a blind bend and a huge coach veers round the corner taking up all of the road!

Amalfi itself is fabulous;if I get to have another life I'll ask to be called De Niro and be born either in Amalfi or Capri!  So, two tips for you; (1) at some point in your life go to both these places if you possibly can and (2) don't drive, let some crazy Italian do it for you.

Oh yeah, have you seen that tv advert that shows Audrey Hepburn in an old bus and she gets out and into a Mercedes and eats Galaxy chocolate? Well that was filmed on the route we took today.  We didn't see her as she's currently dead. We also passed what used to be Sophia Loren's villa. But she's dead at the moment, too.  Georgio Armani's (by all accounts) yacht was moored in the bay and I don't think he was dead as of this morning.

So, only one beer so far today George and mum is teetotal again so far today. But today's culinary item is that it was swordfish for dinner and it was beautiful although I thought the sharp bit was a bit chewy; perhaps you're meant to leave that bit. Mum, of course doesn't like fish so she just had a sword omelette.
I've been getting more adventurous speaking Italian as they like it when you try. But when I asked the guy at a cafe how much I owed him he looked at me as if I'd told him I'd slept with his wife! We got there in the end but I checked with our tour guide and she confirmed I'd used all the right words and, possibly in the right order. So maybe Italian is not conducive to a Yorkshire accent?
P.S. Coffee and cake Italian style!

Today was the best day yet.  Once again we were off at the crack of dawn; they ferried us down to the harbour in mini buses as the road switches back and has hairpin bends in order to get down there and a coach couldn't get down.  Then we went on a ferry large enough to cross the Channel although it's only a 20 minute sail to the island of Capri. Then we transferred to a smaller boat and had a leisurely sail right around the island.  The skipper was the most accomplished sailor I've ever come across.  He went through arches in rocks that looked neither high nor wide enough to get through. He also reversed right into caves close enough for us to touch the rocks in places like the famous blue grotto.
Then we got into even smaller buses which took us up the mountainous and very narrow road to Anacapri at the top of the island.
From there mum was persuaded to get in the chairlift to go to the very summit and fair play to her, 95% of our trip chickened out.  I was going up come hell or high water but she did it; she even found time to take 20,000 photos while doing so.  What a girl!

Had to rush back then to have lunch at a pre-determined restaurant. And it was another good,cheap meal. We had salad and a main course followed by tiramisu and I had 2 puddings as a lady who shared our table didn't want hers. I had a limoncello with her to finish with. We also got a drink with it, all for 13 euros. In the afternoon we walked around the town and were supposed to be going to a park but it was too hot so we sloped off to a bar for a beer.
Lovely meal tonight, shrimp cocktail followed by beef steak and for pudding I had this thing that looked a bit like a cream doughnut but it was literally soaked in alcohol; you couldn't drive after one
of those!
Am I becoming obsessed with food? Oh yes, I broke the toilet this morning! Think I pressed the plastic flush button too hard and water was running into the toilet full time. Anyway I merely reported it to the concierge on the way out and it was fixed when we got back. We like 4 star hotels😊
Now for those who read the blog yesterday you will remember the mist that indicates a warm day. Well, here is the photographic evidence.

Another early start and we drove into the centre of Naples in the morning rush hour; you'd have to be a psychopath or Italian to drive in that; its total mayhem!
We had a guided tour of a museum which houses all the rescued art treasures from both Herculaneum and Pompei. It was interesting up to a point but if we'd gone there on our own it would have taken us 20 or maybe 30 minutes.  Instead of which it lasted over 2 hours during which time 2 of our elderly party expired!
The coach then took us to Pompei where our guide had arranged lunch in a local restaurant. They have this deal where for 10 euros you get a main course and wine. The portions are massive so what people do is, one of them orders a tuna and buffalo mozzarella salad and the other gets a pizza and you split them both.  That worked  but mum avoided anything with tuna on it so my guess is she ate about 30% of our meal and I had to eat the other 70% (yes i did have to, my grandad was a prisoner of war you know!). You can choose white or red wine but our friends wanted red and I wanted white so me and mum shared a whole bottle of white wine (mum did have some but again I probably had to drink 80% of it (yes I did, my grandad was a prisoner of war).  I think we spent the afternoon wandering round Pompei but I was past caring by then! I never saw Frankie Howerd ( that's probably gone over your head as you're too young).
It was very hot in the sun and I think our party shrunk by another couple.
Back for dinner.  For starters we both had what the English part of the menu said was potato dumplings? But the Italian part said it was gnocchi with (more) buffalo mozzarella. Whatever it was was a bit boring.  Grilled salmon to follow; all this fish must help my swimming.  Drinking something called Aperol spritz now as our guide recommended it; no idea what it is and it tastes a bit strange but I'll drink it all cos my grandad was a prisoner of war; don't know if I've ever told you that.

Education spot from our roving reporter

This is the parking in Pompeii. Down one of the main shopping streets our tour guide explained that the hole in the centre of the picture, is where they would loop through the reins of the donkey while they called in the shop. The hole was at the edge of the pavement.

Takeaway Pompeii style. Here is where they used to buy their pizza from. There was a pizza oven but like most takeaways, I couldn't get close to the counter.

The way to predict the weather in Naples Bay is if there is an early mist, then it will be a balmy day. That's just what we had.

It's good fun setting your alarm for 5-30am when on holiday! It was really 6-30 but my phone refuses to accept local time!
We set off at 8 to get to Herculaneum before the crowds arrived.  On the first Sunday of the month entrance is free so everybody goes but they only allow 800 in at once which meant they closed the gates 15 minutes after we got in! Anyway it was all archaeology type stuff so I won't go into details as it would spoil it for Faye when it's on Time Team.  But there were some spectacular old ruins;

Oh I was going to put photos in here but my picture editor is drunk so they will have to follow later.  (Not drunk, just waiting for the technology to perform.)

We had a free afternoon but it was too hot to do much so we had a siesta (I think that's what they call C&G's new car). That means your dad had two naps.
Dinner was an experience of discovery once more.  One of us had tomato soup and chicken, but the other had Parma ham with melon followed by sea bream.  One of those items had bones in but it wasn't the soup.  Anyway mum was practising the Heimlich manoeuvre just in case, but I came through ok. Was a bit naughty though as I had 3 different puddings!
Then, the highlight of the day, we walked to the Sorrento theatre for a musical of traditional Italian songs and dances. But first, you go onto an outside terrace overlooking the bay and have around 45 minutes to drink as much wine as you want, and it's free. You just grab another glass when yours is empty! I thought mum was going to cop out as you could opt for orange juice, but she manned up and had a (whole) glass of wine.  I had more but it all still tastes rubbishy; it's a shame they had no proper drinks.

The musical was ok but I did get a bit nervous when they came down off the stage into the audience and started getting people up and making them dance with them in the aisles. Luckily we weren't at the end of a row!

Just got back from our three course dinner totally pobbed. I could get used to this four star lifestyle. Now I hand you over to the master of the witty ditty - your dad.
Brekky in the hotel is very relaxed. You can sit where you like and wear shorts if so desired so I did.  We met up as a group at 9-30 and had a conducted walking tour of Sorrento; the only problem with that is you can only proceed at the speed of the slowest.  And we had an octogenarian bent double walking with a stick.  So progress was very slow for us fit young stallions!
A very savvy restaurant owner allows our guide to finish the walk on the terrace of his restaurant and, while she told us all about various trips she can organise he kindly provided us all with a cool glass of prosecco and orange and, then surreptitiously deposits a menu on each table.  His reward was that at least half of us stayed for lunch! We had met a couple who speak in the same sophisticated accent as wot we do. They are from Kippax and, small world that it is, their daughter in law works on intensive care at BRI; we didn't catch her name but it seems likely Ali will know her!
So, we "just" had a pizza in view of our forthcoming 3 course evening meal. But these people who have been all over the world had massive meals.  He had this sea food platter and on his plate was sat this whole, though smallish, fish. It's mouth was open and it had very sharp teeth and an evil glint in its eye; I honestly wasn't sure which of them would eat the other! And she had the biggest prawns I've ever seen; seriously these were not even giant prawns, they were more like prawnasaurus Rex !
Then the waiter asked if we had had any limoncello yet. We said no and he recommended we try it.  Then, after we paid the bill he brought us all a complimentary glass of it.  So this was mum's second alcoholic drink of the day!
So, after a lazy afternoon we dressed for dinner and sat at our own table, as required.  I had risotto in champagne and turbot (another first) and then limoncello cake! Most things seem to have alcohol in them (including me now!). Got in the lift with a guy who asked which floor we wanted, in English. I replied in Italian (being fluent in the word Quattro) and when he got out he wished us goodnight in French! So where was he from and where did he think we are from. We may never know Mon ami!

This is the view from our hotel balcony.  Lovin' half board!xx

The blogger!xx

Journeys can be funny things. Like, how come it takes just as long to drive 40 miles from Naples airport as it does to fly 1200 miles to Naples in the first place? Well it turns out that the road round Naples makes the one used in The Italian Job look like a 4 lane highway on a straight, flat road, that's why!
Don't ever try driving round here; it's totally crazy.  Coaches can't get round the hairpin bends unless the traffic coming the other way stops to let them use the whole road. And nobody stops! Then you get 2 coaches meeting each other. The result is impasse on the bypass! It also turns out today was far busier than normal as it was a bank olliday said they say round here.

Anyway we were so late they kept the dining room open for us.  We have our own table for the week.  So there were 3 courses.  There are 4 choices of starter and 4 for the main course so I've decided to be adventurous and try different things.  I thought I'd try the seafood starter but, first lesson I have learned is that linguine seems to be some sort of pasta, it's not a fish it turns out!  Anyway it was very nice.  Then I thought I'd try veal as I'd never tried it before. But I might have! You remember in Rome last year we had a set meal as part of a tour we went on and the main course just said meat with potatoes.  I had both mine and mum's meat which was nice but I didn't know what it was.  Well it seems it may very well have been veal.  We also said some mushed up, dense green vegetation with it.  It might have been spinach or kale?
But the killer was you don't order a sweet; it's all set out on a table and you just help yourself😊. I had profiteroles and some nice cake stuff with strawberries and kiwis on it.  There were about 4 other gorgeous looking sweets that I didn't like to try all at once.  But suffice to say it's going to be a calorie rich week.  I'll have to ask C&G to put the wedding back a month to give me time to burn off the weight I look set to gain this week!
A final thought for the day.  It seems all Italian women are called Sarah! If you go out in the evening everybody greets you by saying buonoserra!

I've managed to narrow down the number of outfits I'm taking, but the suitcase is looking small in relation to the amount of 'stuff' to go in it.  The hat may be a no-show but that would be such a shame as my hats have provided endless fun for you all over the years.  Any tips on how to pack it without squashing the shape would be appreciated.

Blog set up.
Euros bought.
What next?
Well virtually everything else.  So watch this space for developments.