A climber called Mallory disappeared on Mount Everest in 1922 and his frozen body was only found about 10 years ago. The question was, did he reach the top and die on the way down or did he never get to the summit? Well, for the avoidance of doubt we never made it to the top of Vesuvius, the still active volcano. We got to the car park at the last and highest base camp, about a million feet above Naples, but it was in the clouds and they were turning dark and nasty and thunder was rumbling. So the park rangers advised us not to set off to climb to the top as we could get caught in a violent storm. Our tour guide had a difficult decision to make and opted for safety first. I was very disappointed as I wanted to go to the very top, but fair play to her (lol G!!) she would have been blamed if anything had happened to anyone.

So we came all the way back again, but they did stop the coach 3 times to let us get out and admire the views.
Back at sea level it was a nice day so we strolled round Sorrento, had lunch in a garden type restaurant and finally had an ice cream from the highly recommended shop. Wary of what happened to Isaac recently we opted for a carton and spoon rather than a cornet. I had scoops of almond and salted caramel flavours and mum had banana.  So, our final dinner and mum's penultimate encounter with the waiter who flirts with all the ladies. Macaroni bolognese to start and roast beef, roast potatoes and carrots.  Very Italian.  They did call it English style beef to be fair.
This evening we had an excursion to buy some limoncello to take home.  All the gift shops sell it but
our guide had said the best is made by Villa Massa; we eventually tracked some down in a specialist
wine shop. No wine or limoncello consumed today, just 2 beers in order to start the drying out process for when I'm back home.

Robert DeNiro enjoying pepperoni pizza.

Today we drove along Amalfi Drive as it's known. What it actually is, is a magical tour over mountainous and very narrow roads around cliff edges. The height it climbs to is amazing and the views are totally spectacular. The route though is so challenging that only a specialist driver can take a full size 60 seater coach up there so we didn't have our normal driver. God knows what car drivers coming the other way must think when they are approaching a blind bend and a huge coach veers round the corner taking up all of the road!

Amalfi itself is fabulous;if I get to have another life I'll ask to be called De Niro and be born either in Amalfi or Capri!  So, two tips for you; (1) at some point in your life go to both these places if you possibly can and (2) don't drive, let some crazy Italian do it for you.

Oh yeah, have you seen that tv advert that shows Audrey Hepburn in an old bus and she gets out and into a Mercedes and eats Galaxy chocolate? Well that was filmed on the route we took today.  We didn't see her as she's currently dead. We also passed what used to be Sophia Loren's villa. But she's dead at the moment, too.  Georgio Armani's (by all accounts) yacht was moored in the bay and I don't think he was dead as of this morning.

So, only one beer so far today George and mum is teetotal again so far today. But today's culinary item is that it was swordfish for dinner and it was beautiful although I thought the sharp bit was a bit chewy; perhaps you're meant to leave that bit. Mum, of course doesn't like fish so she just had a sword omelette.
I've been getting more adventurous speaking Italian as they like it when you try. But when I asked the guy at a cafe how much I owed him he looked at me as if I'd told him I'd slept with his wife! We got there in the end but I checked with our tour guide and she confirmed I'd used all the right words and, possibly in the right order. So maybe Italian is not conducive to a Yorkshire accent?
P.S. Coffee and cake Italian style!

Today was the best day yet.  Once again we were off at the crack of dawn; they ferried us down to the harbour in mini buses as the road switches back and has hairpin bends in order to get down there and a coach couldn't get down.  Then we went on a ferry large enough to cross the Channel although it's only a 20 minute sail to the island of Capri. Then we transferred to a smaller boat and had a leisurely sail right around the island.  The skipper was the most accomplished sailor I've ever come across.  He went through arches in rocks that looked neither high nor wide enough to get through. He also reversed right into caves close enough for us to touch the rocks in places like the famous blue grotto.
Then we got into even smaller buses which took us up the mountainous and very narrow road to Anacapri at the top of the island.
From there mum was persuaded to get in the chairlift to go to the very summit and fair play to her, 95% of our trip chickened out.  I was going up come hell or high water but she did it; she even found time to take 20,000 photos while doing so.  What a girl!

Had to rush back then to have lunch at a pre-determined restaurant. And it was another good,cheap meal. We had salad and a main course followed by tiramisu and I had 2 puddings as a lady who shared our table didn't want hers. I had a limoncello with her to finish with. We also got a drink with it, all for 13 euros. In the afternoon we walked around the town and were supposed to be going to a park but it was too hot so we sloped off to a bar for a beer.
Lovely meal tonight, shrimp cocktail followed by beef steak and for pudding I had this thing that looked a bit like a cream doughnut but it was literally soaked in alcohol; you couldn't drive after one
of those!
Am I becoming obsessed with food? Oh yes, I broke the toilet this morning! Think I pressed the plastic flush button too hard and water was running into the toilet full time. Anyway I merely reported it to the concierge on the way out and it was fixed when we got back. We like 4 star hotels😊
Now for those who read the blog yesterday you will remember the mist that indicates a warm day. Well, here is the photographic evidence.

Another early start and we drove into the centre of Naples in the morning rush hour; you'd have to be a psychopath or Italian to drive in that; its total mayhem!
We had a guided tour of a museum which houses all the rescued art treasures from both Herculaneum and Pompei. It was interesting up to a point but if we'd gone there on our own it would have taken us 20 or maybe 30 minutes.  Instead of which it lasted over 2 hours during which time 2 of our elderly party expired!
The coach then took us to Pompei where our guide had arranged lunch in a local restaurant. They have this deal where for 10 euros you get a main course and wine. The portions are massive so what people do is, one of them orders a tuna and buffalo mozzarella salad and the other gets a pizza and you split them both.  That worked  but mum avoided anything with tuna on it so my guess is she ate about 30% of our meal and I had to eat the other 70% (yes i did have to, my grandad was a prisoner of war you know!). You can choose white or red wine but our friends wanted red and I wanted white so me and mum shared a whole bottle of white wine (mum did have some but again I probably had to drink 80% of it (yes I did, my grandad was a prisoner of war).  I think we spent the afternoon wandering round Pompei but I was past caring by then! I never saw Frankie Howerd ( that's probably gone over your head as you're too young).
It was very hot in the sun and I think our party shrunk by another couple.
Back for dinner.  For starters we both had what the English part of the menu said was potato dumplings? But the Italian part said it was gnocchi with (more) buffalo mozzarella. Whatever it was was a bit boring.  Grilled salmon to follow; all this fish must help my swimming.  Drinking something called Aperol spritz now as our guide recommended it; no idea what it is and it tastes a bit strange but I'll drink it all cos my grandad was a prisoner of war; don't know if I've ever told you that.

Education spot from our roving reporter

This is the parking in Pompeii. Down one of the main shopping streets our tour guide explained that the hole in the centre of the picture, is where they would loop through the reins of the donkey while they called in the shop. The hole was at the edge of the pavement.

Takeaway Pompeii style. Here is where they used to buy their pizza from. There was a pizza oven but like most takeaways, I couldn't get close to the counter.

The way to predict the weather in Naples Bay is if there is an early mist, then it will be a balmy day. That's just what we had.

It's good fun setting your alarm for 5-30am when on holiday! It was really 6-30 but my phone refuses to accept local time!
We set off at 8 to get to Herculaneum before the crowds arrived.  On the first Sunday of the month entrance is free so everybody goes but they only allow 800 in at once which meant they closed the gates 15 minutes after we got in! Anyway it was all archaeology type stuff so I won't go into details as it would spoil it for Faye when it's on Time Team.  But there were some spectacular old ruins;

Oh I was going to put photos in here but my picture editor is drunk so they will have to follow later.  (Not drunk, just waiting for the technology to perform.)

We had a free afternoon but it was too hot to do much so we had a siesta (I think that's what they call C&G's new car). That means your dad had two naps.
Dinner was an experience of discovery once more.  One of us had tomato soup and chicken, but the other had Parma ham with melon followed by sea bream.  One of those items had bones in but it wasn't the soup.  Anyway mum was practising the Heimlich manoeuvre just in case, but I came through ok. Was a bit naughty though as I had 3 different puddings!
Then, the highlight of the day, we walked to the Sorrento theatre for a musical of traditional Italian songs and dances. But first, you go onto an outside terrace overlooking the bay and have around 45 minutes to drink as much wine as you want, and it's free. You just grab another glass when yours is empty! I thought mum was going to cop out as you could opt for orange juice, but she manned up and had a (whole) glass of wine.  I had more but it all still tastes rubbishy; it's a shame they had no proper drinks.

The musical was ok but I did get a bit nervous when they came down off the stage into the audience and started getting people up and making them dance with them in the aisles. Luckily we weren't at the end of a row!

Just got back from our three course dinner totally pobbed. I could get used to this four star lifestyle. Now I hand you over to the master of the witty ditty - your dad.
Brekky in the hotel is very relaxed. You can sit where you like and wear shorts if so desired so I did.  We met up as a group at 9-30 and had a conducted walking tour of Sorrento; the only problem with that is you can only proceed at the speed of the slowest.  And we had an octogenarian bent double walking with a stick.  So progress was very slow for us fit young stallions!
A very savvy restaurant owner allows our guide to finish the walk on the terrace of his restaurant and, while she told us all about various trips she can organise he kindly provided us all with a cool glass of prosecco and orange and, then surreptitiously deposits a menu on each table.  His reward was that at least half of us stayed for lunch! We had met a couple who speak in the same sophisticated accent as wot we do. They are from Kippax and, small world that it is, their daughter in law works on intensive care at BRI; we didn't catch her name but it seems likely Ali will know her!
So, we "just" had a pizza in view of our forthcoming 3 course evening meal. But these people who have been all over the world had massive meals.  He had this sea food platter and on his plate was sat this whole, though smallish, fish. It's mouth was open and it had very sharp teeth and an evil glint in its eye; I honestly wasn't sure which of them would eat the other! And she had the biggest prawns I've ever seen; seriously these were not even giant prawns, they were more like prawnasaurus Rex !
Then the waiter asked if we had had any limoncello yet. We said no and he recommended we try it.  Then, after we paid the bill he brought us all a complimentary glass of it.  So this was mum's second alcoholic drink of the day!
So, after a lazy afternoon we dressed for dinner and sat at our own table, as required.  I had risotto in champagne and turbot (another first) and then limoncello cake! Most things seem to have alcohol in them (including me now!). Got in the lift with a guy who asked which floor we wanted, in English. I replied in Italian (being fluent in the word Quattro) and when he got out he wished us goodnight in French! So where was he from and where did he think we are from. We may never know Mon ami!

This is the view from our hotel balcony.  Lovin' half board!xx

The blogger!xx

Journeys can be funny things. Like, how come it takes just as long to drive 40 miles from Naples airport as it does to fly 1200 miles to Naples in the first place? Well it turns out that the road round Naples makes the one used in The Italian Job look like a 4 lane highway on a straight, flat road, that's why!
Don't ever try driving round here; it's totally crazy.  Coaches can't get round the hairpin bends unless the traffic coming the other way stops to let them use the whole road. And nobody stops! Then you get 2 coaches meeting each other. The result is impasse on the bypass! It also turns out today was far busier than normal as it was a bank olliday said they say round here.

Anyway we were so late they kept the dining room open for us.  We have our own table for the week.  So there were 3 courses.  There are 4 choices of starter and 4 for the main course so I've decided to be adventurous and try different things.  I thought I'd try the seafood starter but, first lesson I have learned is that linguine seems to be some sort of pasta, it's not a fish it turns out!  Anyway it was very nice.  Then I thought I'd try veal as I'd never tried it before. But I might have! You remember in Rome last year we had a set meal as part of a tour we went on and the main course just said meat with potatoes.  I had both mine and mum's meat which was nice but I didn't know what it was.  Well it seems it may very well have been veal.  We also said some mushed up, dense green vegetation with it.  It might have been spinach or kale?
But the killer was you don't order a sweet; it's all set out on a table and you just help yourself😊. I had profiteroles and some nice cake stuff with strawberries and kiwis on it.  There were about 4 other gorgeous looking sweets that I didn't like to try all at once.  But suffice to say it's going to be a calorie rich week.  I'll have to ask C&G to put the wedding back a month to give me time to burn off the weight I look set to gain this week!
A final thought for the day.  It seems all Italian women are called Sarah! If you go out in the evening everybody greets you by saying buonoserra!

I've managed to narrow down the number of outfits I'm taking, but the suitcase is looking small in relation to the amount of 'stuff' to go in it.  The hat may be a no-show but that would be such a shame as my hats have provided endless fun for you all over the years.  Any tips on how to pack it without squashing the shape would be appreciated.

Blog set up.
Euros bought.
What next?
Well virtually everything else.  So watch this space for developments.