Wilsden to Milan and infinity

Our flight was at a civilised hour, ten past eleven but that, unfortunately didn’t make for a civilised start. Due to having to check in at ten past nine we had to navigate the M62 in the rush hour. We queued most of the way and the journey took two and a half hours but because we set off at 6-30 we were there on time. So Wilsden to Manchester by road, 2 hours 30 minutes. Manchester to Milan 1 hour 50 minutes and we had a lovely birdseye view of the Alps! Then Milan to Lake Garda by coach, 2 weeks 4 days and stiff legs.
As if that wasn’t bad enough we bought sandwiches at Manchester airport but didn’t eat them on the plane as it seemed too early. But then the coach driver didn’t allow eating on his bus. So, having got up at 5-45 I only had a kitkat to eat in the first 12 hours, before devouring my sarny when we stopped at services for a “comfort” break, so I arrived 2 stone lighter than when I left home ( not a bad thing in itself though!).
I booked a 4 star superior hotel and, for that you get a dressing gown and slippers each, plus a massive outdoor terrace for our personal use. Although the room safe has no lock on it so I’ll be walking about all week with my iPad tucked in my waistband.
The dining room is posh with some geezer playing tunes on a white piano. We have our own 2 person table allocated for the week and a waiter who is the Italian twin of Manuel in Fawlty Towers in both size and actions and the way he carries on. He took our orders for all 3 courses, brought us 2 soups, took away the plates then brought us another 2 soups! Unfortunately for mum the main choice was between beef and fish. As she wanted neither he said she could go serve herself a salad from the salad bar. It was only after that I realised she could have ordered beef or fish which I could have eaten and then gone and got a salad. Drat and double drat but we’ll know in future. The servings are only Master Chef size so hardly splash the sides but 2 would be a reasonable (small) helping. Well I have to try regain some of that weight so you’ll still recognise me when I get back home!